Ceci n'est pas une blague.

ccindecision:

Everything has turned on the president.

baaaaaaaahahaha

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

(Source: lvmrsmn)

ididthatonce:

stumblingphrases:

you were really cute until that offensive joke spewed out of your mouth: a guide to how to not be my future lover by me.

If you wanna be my lover
You gotta get with my sociopolitical blogosphere

x

(Source: nethansykes)

stfuconservatives:

Guns: Because freedom, or something. (PS: 4,127 Americans have been killed by guns since Newtown.)

(Source: sandandglass)

fitnew-me:

70lbstothin:

nuitcorbeau:

Ellen’s response to the ‘Abercrombi& Fitch’ statement.

love her

She’s so perfect!!

I LOVE ELLEN!!!!

supaslim:

steamedcrab:

so i was watching the news and this 2nd grader wrote this to the president, vice president, and a congressman. biden was the only one to respond yet. LITERALLY.

may I present to you Mr. Vice President Bro Biden

(Source: slothwrestling)

(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)